Choices

War, contention, fighting, violence, intolerance, hatred, bitterness, pain, resentments. Sound familiar to everyone? Yeah I thought so. It’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!! Negativity is prevailing!!! So it seems anyways. I lived in fear for years, which in turn made me participate in all of these things in one way or another. “No one likes me, everyone hates me; someone hurt me so I have to hurt them; someone made me mad, so I got a resentment; someone isn’t doing what I’m doing, what I want them to do, or what I think they should do, now I hate them because they are wrong; my ideas are better than theirs, I have to prove them wrong or at least I have to make others hate them too; there’s only one way to do this, or that; oh they may not like me (or any other assumptions), ok screw them all, I can do everything myself, and ill push them out of my way to get what I want; oh they look different than me, I hate them; oh they don’t think I’m pretty, I hate myself.” I could go on and on and on, of the things I’ve done, or things I thought about when I was lost and caught up in all of this.

What changed, however, is that I made a choice. Just one choice, I chose not to be directed by fear and negativity any longer. I chose love, patience, tolerance, positivity. That’s right, I said I CHOSE!!!! It is all a choice for me, difficult some days, however, I try my best every day. And the cool thing is…. every day is a new day!!!

For years I was chained by negativity, because I chose those chains. I didn’t know it at the time, and when I was ready to see those chains, they were finally revealed to me, and I chose to reach out for help. Now with all of the craziness and fighting still going on in my head, I choose not to participate in the war whenever I recognize it, and talk to others about it, or I distract myself in other positive ways; reading a book, watching a movie, creating, writing. I choose not to fancy any of the negativity, because I choose not to be bound again in chains.

If someone doesn’t like me? Oh well, I love them. Someone doesn’t think I’m pretty? Well I think I’m beautiful. Someone is a different religion than me? Cool, what maybe we can learn from each other!!! Someone looks sad? Maybe they need to talk. Someone wants to fight me? I’m walking away. Someone has different political views than me? Cool, let’s see who wins the elections. I feel like someone could use some uplifting words? Cool I’ll share a poem. Someone doesn’t like the way I write? Awesome, I wonder how they write; maybe I can learn something from their words. I didn’t get everything accomplished today? That’s ok; I did my best doing the things I did. If someone tries to argue with me about my beliefs, I try walk away. If they want to know my opinion, I give it, genuinely trying not to put them down. If I feel I may make a nasty comment, I try to keep my mouth shut. If I don’t agree with their words, I try not to force them to believe as I do, because it’s a choice they have to make themselves. I just shut up and listen sometimes. Every choice I make, in some way shape or form, will have some sort of ramifications or consequence. The choice that I have already made, and I try to make it every day, is that I will make my actions based on love and positivity. I will try to keep my motives genuine, and I am working on tolerance of intolerant people. Maybe one day we can all get along, and until that day, I will continue to love you all, just the way you are!!!