Confined

I started writing this, and I was fighting with the idea to post it, because I’m still working on the strength to continue on this journey of healing, after a little bump in the road. Then as I was reading the Bible, a certain verse was brought to my attention, and again I was prompted that I needed to share this. I’m not sure who this is for, please, just know that God loves you, and the wisdom I have, is that God is watching out for all of us, and He will give us the strength to get through pain, and help others.

KJV Ecclesiastes 9:18

“Wisdom is better than weapons of war; but one sinner destroyeth much good.”

Confined

22 February 2018

The simple thought to run, goes trailing through my mind,

At a million miles per hour, it almost makes me blind.

The idea that somehow I should have escaped;

The mental confusion, why do I feel raped?

That person never laid a finger on me.

The fear, nevertheless, was complete reality.

Feeling lost, torn, and broken, my nerves on edge,

I thought I’d lost these feelings, threw them off a ledge.

Yet a recent situation, made me feel confined,

My voice was left behind again, my body in a bind.

Though God protected me and let me walk away,

My heart is turned to others, who knew this pain today.

Those who felt like they were under attack;

Those who have no clue, how they can fight back.

Sometimes we are faced with people who are sick,

Or we get stuck in situations, we would never pick.

Sometimes things happen, no one likes to talk about,

And I see it’s finally time, to let these feelings out.

For years I was lost from things beyond control.

It made me live in fear, darkened up my soul.

Instead of reaching out for help, from those I truly love,

Or even sending a prayer out to the One that lives above,

I made the choice to hide using anything in reach.

I gave poison to some people, and to others became a leach.

It took a Power greater than I could ever dream,

And a group of remarkable people, on whom I could lean,

For me to finally realize my worth was never gone.

I just had to figure out, my thinking was all wrong.

I had told myself that I was alone, no one could understand.

Then others stood around me and held me by the hand.

They had felt the same way, many years for some,

And they had found together, a reason not to run.

A Power even greater still, that no one can define.

He could take the pain away, completely from my mind.

When I finally humbled myself to ask for His wise words,

He blatantly told me to help other long lost birds.

He gave me a brand new voice, in writing He said I can heal.

Not just myself, to all who release the wheel

I have to give voice to those who can’t speak,

Because they are not ready, or feel too weak.

I have learned and I know, God will always listen

And He sees my tears, the ones that glisten.

He knows my pain, and He wants all to know,

That His love is all around, even in shadow.

Sometimes we are blind, though His blessings abound,

And we need others to show us that love can be found.

That’s what I needed to help clear my past,

And to learn that I needed to sacrifice the cast

The one that I put on protecting my frail heart,

So I could finally address where I need to start.

Forgiving others and myself, is the answer to my freedom,

And I know that day is coming, it’s finally the season

With sharing my pain with others, I see the light inside.

It’s starting to illuminate, and eliminate the pride.

I don’t feel so alone, I know God will set me free,

And one day the pain will subside, for all eternity.