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My Reality

My Reality 9 July 2017
In an alternate reality, of days long past, Stood a broken little girl, in a rock hard cast. No one really loved her, that was what she thought. In her mind she was abandoned, left alone to rot. People all around her, would pick on her or tease, Taking it all personal, she told her heart to freeze. Her pain grew even deeper, when someone took advantage. So she knew she had to run, her emotions she must manage. The beginning was to fake a smile, in every situation; Becoming a chameleon, so she could prove her station. Next were the addictions, manipulating, lying; Before she even realized it, no longer was she trying. It became a way of life, no effort left at all; To run or drink her life away, was her only call. Going through the motions, not letting others in, She felt that to pretend, was the only way to win. She saw glimmers here and there, never finding peace, Running to wrong places, to try to get release. The people she kept close, she loved as best she could. Most were lost…
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Sister of the Night

Sister of the Night June 14, 2018

I look at the Moon and wonder, as she shines so very bright, That even through all she's suffered, she shows up day and night. She doesn't care that comets, have hit her many times. She doesn't care that Earth, can hide the Sun that shines. She doesn't mind the vastness, the universe entails. She just moves around so gracefully, as if guided by handrails. She glides above the storms, while we all run and hide. She's not restricted by the laws, that we create and "must" abide. Money is just an object, no value to her at all. She knows the only value, that matters is her call. She doesn't dress to impress, like most are prone to do. She shows up as herself, as God intended her to. She stays above the surface and gently guides below, To help the ships being tossed, by the winds that blow. She spreads her light to all in need, who may have lost their way. She is not phased by negativity, no matter what we say. She does her best to bl…

This week's realizations.

The last few days have been rough; and I mean gut wretching, tear filled, guilt ridden, head pounding, emotional volcano explosion, rough. For many years in my past, I have been someone that I don't even recognize anymore. I was scared, hurt, lost, chained by a repeated merry-go-round of habits I couldn't excape, I didn't know how to escape. Inside was a little girl crying to be released from the cage she had been forced into. As I'm learning to reach up to get the keys of willingness from the Creator above, I can see the light finally reaching through the darkness to show me the way. However, the muck and weights that I have been carrying, and adding to for so many years is trying to keep me down. I know they will not forever be there, and most days I wish I could just float up from the cage and be set free immediately, that would not give me the muscles I  need in future battles. Somes I feel like I just want to dig down deeper, hide, and pretend that little girl has…

Fight for Freedom

Fight for Freedom
17 April 2018

At the end of the path the darkness gets thick.
I push my way through, feeling this is a trick.
When I finally see that door so inviting,
I feel my breath catch and I know I'm surviving.
Suddenly fingers start wrapping around me.
They pull me so hard, I fall to my knee.
They tug at my heart and tighten the strings.
They make me feel many negative things.
They get into my mind and wriggle my brain,
Changing my thoughts to make me insane.
They squeeze at my throat my words disappear,
Until the end of my voice starts getting near.
They blindfold my eyes with a blur so intense,
The hope I saw before looks surrounded by fence.
They tie up my feet so I can't take a step,
Stealing away my vigor and pep.
They reach for my hands so I can't touch the knob,
My fingers I'm stretching, go numb and throb.
However, this journey that God sent me on,
Has given me muscles to help make me strong.
I pull out my hands from those fingers so tough,
When I fin…

Paying it Forward

Paying it Forward 8 April 2018

I’m not sure what to write about, yet I know that this is right. I have to keep using my words to stay within the fight. The fight for freedom and happiness has to begin with me. Or else my world is doomed, for all eternity. God gave me a voice to speak, in speaking I can find. The strength to move forward, if only in my mind. Writing helps release, the bonds upon my heart, I know I’ll never be finished, this is just a start. The journey is a long one, I know without a doubt. Sometimes I want to cry, others I need to shout. That does not diminish, the power of my words, For sometimes they take flight, just like little birds. To a broken heart that needs hope and love within, So on their own long journey, they can finally begin. There are many in this world suffering as I did, Because they felt alone, like a lost little kid. Someone was always there, though to them I was blind, And as I look within my past, it’s not that hard to find; That though I felt …

The War I Refuse to Fight

The War I Refuse to Fight 27 March 2018 It’s becoming clearer every day; the war that’s being fought, Between brother, sister, man and wife; hearts are turning to rot. There’s fighting, bickering, slandering and putting others down. Yet in the end, can you find anyone actually wearing a crown? Many find joy in stomping another’s small fire out, Can they not see the darkness they are creating all about? Others try to force their views, like they are the only way. Do we not live in a land of freedom for all to have their say? What’s the point in always putting the other guy down? Do you really enjoy the strain of constantly wearing a frown? Why do we hide our similarities and only bring differences up? In the end must we not all drink from the same bitter cup? Do you think the riches of this world are all you can achieve? Do you think the glory of beating someone, can change the way they believe? Why do we continue the cycle of hurting others when we’ve been hurt? Why when we have fallen, do we knock ot…

The Mighty Foe

I've had a rough couple weeks.  In my head alot, but I wrote this poem tonight. I'm sharing in hopes it may help someone else.

The Mighty Foe
22 March 2018


There's a poem I once wrote about a mighty foe,
It's like a dream when I think of so long ago.
Back then it was just an average name,
Of a liquidy substance some drank in shame.
I knew it caused problems it was easy to see,
I couldn't fathom to drink it, in the naiive little me.
No one could make me, of that I was sure,
My heart was still open, my intentions were pure.
When I had been offered my first little drink,
Something inside me decided not to shrink.
I took a sip that I liked, then guzzled it down.
If I had anymore I knew I would drown
So I swore I would never pick it up again;
Then my heart got shattered and my story began:
Alcohol started to be my best friend.
Anytime I was heartbroken it had an ear to lend.
Everytime I was scared it gave me a hand,
To help fight my battles or bury me in sand.
When I w…