Marie Slider

War, contention, fighting, violence, intolerance, hatred, bitterness, pain, resentments. Sound familiar to everyone? Yeah I thought so. It’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!! Negativity is prevailing!!! So it seems anyways. I lived in fear for years, which in turn made me participate in all of these things in one way or another. “No one likes me, everyone hates me; someone hurt me so I have to hurt them; someone made me mad, so I got a resentment; someone isn’t doing what I’m doing, what I want them to do, or what I think they should do, now I hate them because they are wrong; my ideas are better than theirs, I have to prove them wrong or at least I have to make others hate them too; there’s only one way to do this, or that; oh they may not like me (or any other assumptions), ok screw them all, I can do everything myself, and ill push them out of my way to get what I want; oh they look different than me, I hate them; oh they don’t think I’m pretty, I hate myself.” I could go on and on and o...

I started writing this, and I was fighting with the idea to post it, because I’m still working on the strength to continue on this journey of healing, after a little bump in the road. Then as I was reading the Bible, a certain verse was brought to my attention, and again I was prompted that I needed to share this. I’m not sure who this is for, please, just know that God loves you, and the wisdom I have, is that God is watching out for all of us, and He will give us the strength to get through pain, and help others. KJV Ecclesiastes 9:18 “Wisdom is better than weapons of war; but one sinner destroyeth much good.” Confined 22 February 2018 The simple thought to run, goes trailing through my mind, At a million miles per hour, it almost makes me blind. The idea that somehow I should have escaped; The mental confusion, why do I feel raped? That person never laid a finger on me. The fear, nevertheless, was complete reality. Feeling lost, torn, and broken, my ...

Insane Sanity 15 February 2018 This insane sanity that has taken over my mind, Is something, I wish everyone could find. It's the idea that in life, I can actually be free, From doubt, shame, fear and misery. For years I created many false stories, Written in my own mind's laboratories. Somehow I knew love couldn't be mine, And pushing everyone away, was totally fine. I told myself I would forever be, Victim, burden, slave for eternity. I told myself there was no way out, Adhearing to negativity and doubt. I always had hope, one day things would change. Yet I continuing firing down that same lonely range. I now know that was the true insanity, Continuing on that path of righteous vanity. My ego said I was better than everyone, Because I was the only person who wanted to run. When I finally let go, and let someone else drive, My vessel stopped taking so many nosedives. This is the thought that has taken over my life, And cut through all the lies, like a burning knife. Th...

Red Bird 15 February 2018 I wonder what the red bird sings as he's sitting on the branch, Would the words of his song eventually create a mighty avalanche? I wonder what his lyrics mean that I have yet to understand, If I sing his words to you what it mean the same without a band? I wonder if his thoughts would be of fear like most of us, Or would they be so powerful that my brain would turn to dust? I wonder how his day unveils, does he worry like we do, Or does he just fly around knowing God will guide him through? I wonder if the day will come I can sit down by his side, And learn how I can keep my song with me through the ride. I wonder if he truly knows the love I feel for him, For just like every creation of God, I see him as my kin.

Sometimes I can’t help but feel frozen. I can’t speak what I am thinking; I can’t write what I am feeling. I get writers block or I start to sensor myself based on what others may think about my writing or my words. I start feeling I may be judged by the majority or that I may be disliked for my words. Then I remember. I remember that I have to push through that fear and start writing from my heart. My words may help one person; just one person, and that person is who I write for. I write for the person who needs my words right now. That one person is you. That person may be the child sitting alone in their room, hearing their parents argue, and feeling like there is no hope in the world. That person may be the man, who just lost his wife from cancer, and is looking online one last time before he chooses to join her. That person may be the alcoholic or addict, who just came to, in a pile of her own vomit, and feels like no one understands what she is going though. I write for t...

Understanding Love 5 February 2018 For years I knew the concept of love, though it took a very long time, To understand God’s plan for me, that love could really be mine. Somewhere along the way my signals got all disturbed; The idea of an actual love was absolutely absurd. As my heart started reopening and the walls were falling apart, The idea of true self-love is where I had to start. My self-love began by learning that I truly am a daughter, Given to faithful earthly parents to guide me back to Heavenly Father. The next step was learning, that God had given me a call, So I could escape the ramifications of Adam’s original fall. There is work that I am starting; filling my lamp up with oil, And watering that seed of faith that was hidden beneath the soil. I am starting to learn of charity, and humbling myself to Christ, Although in my past I have denied him, more than only thrice. God knew I needed help, to guide me along my way, So he sent me ...

More Me Than I Used to Be 3 February 2018 All of my life I've collected pieces of varying sizes and shapes. I don't know why I held some close and others I hid behind drapes. Some people offered me distorted pieces and as a hoarder I couldn't see, That even though they were part of a puzzle, they didn't belong to me. They were part of someone else's picture, usually those who were trying, To hand them over to me instead, of by their own box abiding. Like them I too offered pieces, to others along my path, And as I'm learning to step back sometimes I have to laugh. There are some holes inside that make the picture hard to see, And other places I forced the shape of a distorted figure of me. I know the image I manipulated, is not the one God made, For He created everything beautiful just the way they were laid. At some point I looked in other boxes wishing mine was different, So I started mixing up our pieces creating something magnificent. I sta...