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Insane Sanity

Insane Sanity
15 February 2018
This insane sanity that has taken over my mind,
Is something, I wish everyone could find.
It's the idea that in life, I can actually be free,
From doubt, shame, fear and misery.
For years I created many false stories,
Written in my own mind's laboratories.
Somehow I knew love couldn't be mine,
And pushing everyone away, was totally fine.
I told myself I would forever be,
Victim, burden, slave for eternity.
I told myself there was no way out,
Adhearing to negativity and doubt.
I always had hope, one day things would change.
Yet I continuing firing down that same lonely range.
I now know that was the true insanity,
Continuing on that path of righteous vanity.
My ego said I was better than everyone,
Because I was the only person who wanted to run.
When I finally let go, and let someone else drive,
My vessel stopped taking so many nosedives.
This is the thought that has taken over my life,
And cut through all the lies, like a burning knife.
The secret to escape from where I was caged,
Was learning my movements, were on myself gaged.
It took me a while to figure this out,
And I'm constantly learning to fight the bout.
When my brain starts to take control,
I ask God to shut it off, free my heart and soul.
In my mind there remains a daily fight,
I must ask Him again to let His will take flight.
I know if I depend on the One up above,
And those He put in my live, teaching me love,
My story may never actually shift,
Yet the clouds surrounding it will surely lift.
I'm a different story teller than I was in days past,
And by reaching out, my insane sanity will always last.

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