The last few days have been rough; and I mean gut wretching, tear filled, guilt ridden, head pounding, emotional volcano explosion, rough. For many years in my past, I have been someone that I don't even recognize anymore. I was scared, hurt, lost, chained by a repeated merry-go-round of habits I couldn't excape, I didn't know how to escape. Inside was a little girl crying to be released from the cage she had been forced into. As I'm learning to reach up to get the keys of willingness from the Creator above, I can see the light finally reaching through the darkness to show me the way. However, the muck and weights that I have been carrying, and adding to for so many years is trying to keep me down. I know they will not forever be there, and most days I wish I could just float up from the cage and be set free immediately, that would not give me the muscles I need in future battles. Somes I feel like I just want to dig down deeper, hide, and pretend that little girl has never existed, and go back down the crappy road I was stuck on, that would not allow me any room to grow. I truly am grateful that through this journey I am not alone, that I have help along the way. As long as I continue reaching up and out, I will escape to the true reality of love, peace and joy. This gives me hope everytime I feel like giving up. I've come a long way, and I will continue to fight. I know many others out there are going through their own version of this battle. We are not alone, peace waits just beyond the darkness, we just have to keep reaching, because hands will always be there guiding us out.
I started writing this, and I was fighting with the idea to post it, because I’m still working on the strength to continue on this journey of healing, after a little bump in the road. Then as I was reading the Bible, a certain verse was brought to my attention, and again I was prompted that I needed to share this. I’m not sure who this is for, please, just know that God loves you, and the wisdom I have, is that God is watching out for all of us, and He will give us the strength to get through pain, and help others. KJV Ecclesiastes 9:18 “Wisdom is better than weapons of war; but one sinner destroyeth much good.” Confined 22 February 2018 The simple thought to run, goes trailing through my mind, At a million miles per hour, it almost makes me blind. The idea that somehow I should have escaped; The mental confusion, why do I feel raped? That person never laid a finger on me. The fear, nevertheless, was complete reality. Feeling lost, torn, and broken, my ...
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