Connections

Connections

30 December 2017

Sometimes I get this feeling,

though sometimes it goes away,

And I know that there are others

it shows in what they say.

I've been searching far and wide

a home to build so strong,

Where I can feel some comfort

from this world that feels so wrong.

I'm learning I won't find it

if I hide my love and talents,

And play the disconnect game

refusing to find balance.

When I focus on my past and future

and forget the Here and Now,

Then I become a victim

and worldly things make me bow.

I start to judge another,

"They are wrong and I am right,"

Or even worse the feeling

of giving up the fight.

In past I judged my worth

on other opinions or advice,

And I played follow-the-leader

in a swarming group of mice.

I pushed out the weaker being

and stepped upon their head.

Question is, what will I carry

to my individual death-bed?

I'll bring wisdom and emotions

and connections of the heart,

Not those worldly Ambitions I've had

Or even a piece of art.

There's so much more to experience

above my head and below my feet;

Many worlds still yet to be discovered,

so many siblings yet to meet.

I sometimes get lost in arguing

in my head or with another,

That I forget that our perceptions

are different from each other.

Even the yesterday me

I thought I knew so well,

Has changed so much today

but continues to try to yell.

Sometimes I get distracted

by what I should do or say,

But then I forget to focus

on simple things day by day.

There is alot of healing

and amends that must be made,

But I cannot stop experiencing

The world as it's been laid.

That family of squirrels and bird's nest

I saw today around noon,

Did not come out of nowhere

it's been there many a moon!

A beautiful flower by the street

could have been easily passed,

But he might have a brother

where another shadow is cast!

The smile I saw on a stranger

I swear I've never seen before;

It might have graced my presence yesterday at the store.

But I was just too focused

on the things I had to buy;

He might have been behind me,

consoling his kid, a tear in his eye!

The things that I've been blind to

may not be just by chance.

There's connections I might be missing,

a whole number left to dance.

A thin thread like a spider's

is being shown to me everyday.

I am learning how to follow it

And in the vibe, do and say,

Not things that I have planned

ignoring how other people feel,

But focusing on us both

And watch the layers start to peal.

I've experienced many things,

some I cannot show or tell

And I have to Give God credit

for helping me see so well;

That this invisible mighty strand

is intertwining in my life,

And the energy or karma i create

can cause someone joy or strife.

I'm learning that my actions

can certainly affect many,

And if I serve another person

I'll be rewarded plenty.

It's not about the money,

I don't need much of that,

It's not about the glory

or even the blessings I get back.

It's knowing that my words

or even a helping hand,

May have changed a split decision,

or helped pearls transform from sand.

So as as I'm going through

this constantly changing healing,

I'm trying not to judge myself

Or focus on the feeling,

That I didn't accomplish everything

I wanted to do today,

Because I know I did my best

if my motives didn't stray.

But if by chance I realize,

I did some wrong some where,

Then I do my best to right it,

or genuinely show I care.

I know that if I stay positive

and honor my connections to all,

The chains of negativity and pain

will slowly start to fall.