Marie Slider Henriksen

A New Start 26 December 2018 Gratitude is something, I try to live each day, It's more than just a thank you, while passing on my way. It's a lifestyle I have learned, that helps me overcome, The struggles I am going through, and the battles I have won. It's a pathway to a freedom, money can't a ttain , Where fear of loss and heartbreak, no longer can remain . Many things have happened, in my crazy life. The pain from some of then, still cut me like a knife. Though I know that these memories, still make me sad some days, I know the pain is fading, into a blurry haze. I have hope in my heart, and faith in my spirit, For now I can help others, as they go through it. There's many God dots, I'm seeing each day, And I'm learning to connect them, no matter where they lay. I cannot change my past, or predict the future, I only have today, for healing to occur...

15 October 2018 I'm sittinghere in the VA psych unit, a place I never thought I'd be. My ego has always told me I had to do everything on my own. Asking for help was always taboo; at least the kind of help I really needed. I knew if I said the wrong thing to the wrong person, they would walk away from me, abandon me, and leave me on my own again. I had to be selectively honest. I had to change myself into the person I thought others wanted me to be. I had to put a smile on my face, so no one would ever ask me what was wrong, and look at me as less than. I had to get what I could from you, then push you away before you could hurt me. My walls were so thick, I became numb. I lost me. I then started hating me for the person I was turning into. I ran from those emotions and the carnal worldly lifestyle of addictions became my safety net, I could always count on them. They would never leave me. I could find them anywhere. This was my mentality for many years. Becoming sober was ...

Hope In The Fight 6 October 2018 The fight is still so real, it pulls me to and fro. It makes me feel insane, like I have nowhere safe to go. It yells inside my head, tells me I'm a fool; That in seeking out some help, I'm just another mule. I know that this is temporary, it will not last that long, And the purpose of this fight, is to make me strong. I know that there are others fighting right beside; Yet part of me still wishes, the fight would just subside. Depression and anxiety fill me to the core. I can tell you this much, this life is not a bore. There's beauty still around, faith and love still there; Even though I hide them, making me feel bare. I won't give into evil, it cannot have my life; Though it tries to overcome, and cuts me like a knife. I know that God is watching, offering His aid; Sometimes it's through angels, or offering a blockade. Sometimes it's through man who offer a kind deed; Or nature, music, scriptures; even in...

My Reality Marie Slider 9 July 2017 In an alternate reality, of days long past, Stood a broken little girl, in a rock hard cast. No one really loved her, that was what she thought. In her mind she was abandoned, left alone to rot. People all around her, would pick on her or tease, Taking it all personal, she told her heart to freeze. Her pain grew even deeper, when someone took advantage. So she knew she had to run, her emotions she must manage. The beginning was to fake a smile, in every situation; Becoming a chameleon, so she could prove her station. Next were the addictions, manipulating, lying; Before she even realized it, no longer was she trying. It became a way of life, no effort left at all; To run or drink her life away, was her only call. Going through the motions, not letting others in, She felt that to pretend, was the only way to win. She saw glimmers here and there, never finding peace, Running to wrong places, to try to get release. The people she...

Sister of the Night June 14, 2018 I look at the Moon and wonder, as she shines so very bright, That even through all she's suffered, she shows up day and night. She doesn't care that comets, have hit her many times. She doesn't care that Earth, can hide the Sun that shines. She doesn't mind the vastness, the universe entails. She just moves around so gracefully, as if guided by handrails. She glides above the storms, while we all run and hide. She's not restricted by the laws, that we create and "must" abide. Money is just an object, no value to her at all. She knows the only value, that matters is her call. She doesn't dress to impress, like most are prone to do. She shows up as herself, as God intended her to. She stays above the surface and gently guides below, To help the ships being tossed, by the winds that blow. She spreads her light to all in need, who may have lost their way. She i...

The last few days have been rough; and I mean gut wretching, tear filled, guilt ridden, head pounding, emotional volcano explosion, rough. For many years in my past, I have been someone that I don't even recognize anymore. I was scared, hurt, lost, chained by a repeated merry-go-round of habits I couldn't excape , I didn't know how to escape. Inside was a little girl crying to be released from the cage she had been forced into. As I'm learning to reach up to get the keys of willingness from the Creator above, I can see the light finally reaching through the darkness to show me the way. However, the muck and weights that I have been carrying, and adding to for so many years is trying to keep me down. I know they will not forever be there, and most days I wish I could just float up from the cage and be set free immedia tely, that would not give me the muscles I  need in future battles. Somes I feel like I just want to dig down deeper, hide, and pretend that little gir...

Fight for Freedom (a Journey poem #2)  Marie Slider  17 April 2018 At the end of the path the darkness gets thick. I push my way through, feeling this is a trick. When I finally see that door so inviting, I feel my breath catch and I know I'm surviving. Suddenly fingers start wrapping around me. They pull me so hard, I fall to my knee. They tug at my heart and tighten the strings. They make me feel many negative things. They get into my mind and wriggle my brain, Changing my thoughts to make me insane. They squeeze at my throat my words disappear, Until the end of my voice starts getting near. They blindfold my eyes with a blur so intense, The hope I saw before looks surrounded by fence. They tie up my feet so I can't take a step, Stealing away my vigor and pep. They reach for my hands so I can't touch the knob, My fingers I'm stretching, go numb and throb. However, this journey that God sent me on, Has given me muscles to help make me strong. I ...