tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75896729981842253032024-02-20T12:51:52.824-08:00Marie SliderPoetry and Writings by Marie Slider ****** View my photography at
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-27352598470676769082022-05-11T13:05:00.007-07:002022-05-11T13:05:38.984-07:00Frozen<p></p><div align="left"><p dir="ltr">W<span style="color: black;">hy am I so scared to heal? Is it laziness? Is it fear? What am I scared of? Why don't I want to thrive, only survive? I have issues with isolation, laziness, distractions. How do I get out of this loop? I'm frozen, stalled. Procrastination and avoidance are my daily routines.</span></p>
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<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Frozen</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">24 April 2022</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Marie Slider</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></p>
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<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Scared to heal, scared to live,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Why is there no care that I give?</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Desire to run or walk away,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">But can't take a step to get out of my way.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I'm frozen in a bubble of time,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Completely surrounded by dust and grime.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Cobwebs entangle my conscious mind,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Body entangled by ropes that bind.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Apathy threatens to take control,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Darkening my beautiful soul.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">My light inside, it flickers and fades,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Isolation cuts like sharpened blades.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Fear of failure and fear of success,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">My brain and heart are completely a mess.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Can't see a way out most of the days,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">My mind's labyrinth firmly betrays.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Self-awareness, a strength to many who seek,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">For a person like me, it just makes me weak.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The answers to questions are already found,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">How to put them to work, is way too profound.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Feeling alone in this world of pain,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">For many, relief is easy to attain.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Stuck in this loop day by day,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Consistently fighting to find a way,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">To keep me from taking the easy way out,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Of running and hiding or lazing about.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Or going back to my old way of life,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Avoiding these feeling that cut like a knife.</span></p>
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<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Although these feeling are overwhelming,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The benefits of healing are very compelling.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The pain is a bridge to a new way of life,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I'm not sure what that is, while still in this strife.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">But glimpses I've seen in the eyes of many,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The resemblance to God is completely uncanny.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Lots of work to be done, and patience to find,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">To help me get out of the ropes that bind.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I've</span><span style="color: black;"> learned that I do not fight solo,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">For help was promised a long time ago.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">A Christ was born to take this pain,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">So happiness I can attain.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">One day, I hope to understand this,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">When He reaches out for my hand with His.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">He will pull me up where I truly belong,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And I will praise Him in holy song.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">To God, he will bring this humble girl.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The one inside me to be unfurled.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">For she has been hiding under this mess;</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">She's been yelling out to me in distress.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I just keep on pushing her down,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">But I know that to God, she will always be found.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">God will embrace me with his heart,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And all of his love he will impart.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Then I will learn what this life really meant,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And understand why I chose to be sent.</span></p>
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<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">With this reminder, faith again takes control,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Reminding me to keep God in my soul.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I can fight through these feeling, with help on my side,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And make it through this life's crazy ride.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Ancestors, friends, and family too,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Are there to help, my faith to renew.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Ups and downs will keep happening, that is a fact,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I have to keep fighting to get out of that act.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I keep telling myself to never give in,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">For if I stay frozen, life will never begin.</span></p>
</div><p dir="ltr"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><br /><p></p>SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-1264980798970778092022-05-11T13:03:00.001-07:002022-05-11T13:03:05.242-07:00Traveling Again<p> </p><div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Traveling Again</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">11 May 2022</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Marie Slider</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></p>
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<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I'm on that rough path again, </span><span style="color: black;">though this time I see the lies,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">T</span><span style="color: black;">hat Satan often tells me,</span><span style="color: black;"> but God, he hears my cries.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Those rocks and sticks </span><span style="color: black;">I've</span><span style="color: black;"> overcome, I thought would break my bones,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Have only made me stronger, many times I have been shown.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I'm not that same lost girl, who was stuck in the dark,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The warmth of that calm spirit, resides within my heart.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">The darkness tries to overcome, but this journey has let me see,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">That I've walked this path before, and God can set me free.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I have to push myself again, to walk this path of sorrow,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And I know that, yet again, I may walk it tomorrow.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Today, however, I can find that door that's so inviting,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And be embraced by Heavenly Father, (isn't that exciting?)</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">He will always give me peace, if I reach out my hand</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">And I know that one day, I will permanently take that stand.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">But, if I have to turn around, and take another journey,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Through the hurt and anger, that so often plague me,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I can always make it through, the path that is so rough,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Because I've faced it many times, which has made me tough.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Now that I know the tools, that always help me fight</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">I try to help others, find that door of light.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">Our journeys may be different, but parallel they are.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">If they continue fighting, then they will make it far.</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">One day our hurt will end, and we will find relief,</span></p></div>
<div align="left"><p dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;">We just have to find a way, to hold to that belief.</span></p>
</div><p dir="ltr"><br /></p>SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-53686984411977592012020-06-25T20:29:00.001-07:002020-06-25T20:29:01.291-07:00Not Lost<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Not Lost<br />
18 June 2020<br />
Marie Slider <br />
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Lost in my brain, feeling insane; not sure of where to go.<br />
Yearn to be free; what's happening to me? In a boat I cannot row.<br />
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Thoughts reign supreme, or so it seems; where can I find release?<br />
Where can I run? This is not very fun; why can I not find peace?<br />
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What's that I hear? It's not very clear; where is it coming from?<br />
A pitter a patter, I feel like this matters; the noise is that of a drum.<br />
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It's not a loud sound, but it booms all around;<br />
A stirring within my heart.<br />
The spirit, it speaks; the brain starts to weep, for the curtains they finally part.<br />
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They show a love there, that the brain said was bare, and so I could not see.<br />
How much I have grown; that I'm never alone; that Someone is holding me.<br />
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The scars that I've earned, are lessons Ive learned and I cannot forget;<br />
The fact of the matter; I did not shatter,<br />
And I will not live in regret.<br />
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So when I feel lost, and my brain feels tossed,<br />
I hope these words come easy;<br />
"You can push through, this is not new,<br />
Fear not I am with thee."<br />
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-8234227365358494532019-04-10T20:20:00.001-07:002019-04-10T20:20:40.669-07:00The Seed of Hope<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The Seed of Hope<br />
Marie Slider<br />
10 April 2019<br />
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A seed of hope was given, by one who came before;<br />
I put it in my chest, to see if it could bore.<br />
The roots began to dig so deep, they wrapped around my heart;<br />
Planting themself firmly, so they could never part.<br />
That hope grew strong as tree trunks, reaching to the sky,<br />
Forever part of me, I'll have it when I die.<br />
That seed of hope was planted, somewhere in my past,<br />
And forever I will show the world, the way this hope can last.<br />
Sometimes my hope it hibernates, and it seems pretty bare.<br />
However I still feel it then, and remember I must share.<br />
My seed it must be watered first, but what can feed that hope?<br />
I cannot rely fully, on just the need to cope.<br />
The want to share is great and all, for now work must be done.<br />
For if I don't protect the growth, it could be overrun.<br />
I must gain understanding, of how hope can be changed,<br />
To faith where there's no room for doubt, that things have been arranged.<br />
My heart it must be full of love, to give fluid to that seed.<br />
And I must remember God's protection, I will surely need.<br />
So adding gratitude and smiles, overcoming doubt;<br />
Helping those around us, releasing anger out;<br />
Are things I do continually in order to sustain,<br />
The power needed to grow out; the foundation to remain.<br />
I stretch the branches from me, for others with empty hands.<br />
The seedlings I share freely, if hope they can withstand.<br />
The leaves that fall behind me, I know they will be followed,<br />
By those who cant reach out, in darkness they have wollowed.<br />
When they become ready, to draw eyes off the ground;<br />
Patience, love and a seed, always will be found.<br />
Some will not take the seed, others will throw it away,<br />
But I know that if I tried today, today was a wonderful day.</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-57314769792603131642018-12-26T13:46:00.001-08:002018-12-26T13:46:11.681-08:00A New Start<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black;">A New Start</span></div>
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26 December 2018</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Gratitude</span><span style="color: black;"> </span>is<span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">something,</span><span style="color: black;"> I </span><span style="color: black;">try</span><span style="color: black;"> to live each</span><span style="color: black;"> day,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">It's</span><span style="color: black;"> more than just </span><span style="color: black;">a</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">thank</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">you,</span><span style="color: black;"> while</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">passing</span><span style="color: black;"> on my way.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">It's </span><span style="color: black;">a</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">lifestyle</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">I</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">have</span><span style="color: black;"> learned, </span><span style="color: black;">that</span><span style="color: black;"> helps me</span><span style="color: black;"> overcome,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The </span><span style="color: black;">struggles</span><span style="color: black;"> I am going</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">through, </span><span style="color: black;">and</span><span style="color: black;"> the </span><span style="color: black;">battles</span><span style="color: black;"> I</span><span style="color: black;"> have won.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">It's</span><span style="color: black;"> a pathway to </span><span style="color: black;">a</span><span style="color: black;"> freedom, </span><span style="color: black;">money</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">can't</span><span style="color: black;"> a</span><span style="color: black;">ttain</span><span style="color: black;">,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Where</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">fear</span><span style="color: black;"> of </span><span style="color: black;">loss</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">and</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">heartbreak,</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">no</span><span style="color: black;"> longer </span><span style="color: black;">can </span><span style="color: black;">remain</span><span style="color: black;">.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Many things have happened, in my crazy life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The pain from some of then, still cut me like a knife.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Though I know that these memories, still make me sad some days,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I know the pain is fading, into a blurry haze.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I have hope in my heart, and faith in my spirit,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">For now I can help others, as they go through it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">There's many God dots, I'm seeing each day,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">And I'm learning to connect them, no matter where they lay.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I cannot change my past, or predict the future,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I only have today, for healing to occur.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Many opportunities, for choices I can make,</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Are laying right in front of me, my faith I won't forsake.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Joy fills my being, when after a rough day,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I have not gone backwards, and the old me is at bay.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">This journey is exciting, when lessons I have learned,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">And the bridges get rebuilt, that in my past I burned.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I now have a chance, at slowly finally living,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The life that I've been dreaming of, the chances God keeps giving.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I know I'll make mistakes, and sometimes I'll be selfish,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Some fires I will start, that I cannot </span><span style="color: black;">extinguish.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I have hope with help from others, and a loving Father,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">That I can make amends, become a better author.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The story I want told, when I leave this earth,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Is she did her best, to show others they have worth.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I'm grateful in my heart, each night i go to bed,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">For I'm living a new life, not knowing what's ahead.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">And each day that I wonder, if I'm all alone,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I now have a foundation, not made with sand, but stone.</span></div>
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-61082201004276703262018-10-15T10:26:00.000-07:002018-10-18T12:14:57.083-07:00Seeking Help<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
15 October 2018<br />
<br />
I'm sittinghere in the VA psych unit, a place I never thought I'd be. My ego has always told me I had to do everything on my own. Asking for help was always taboo; at least the kind of help I really needed. I knew if I said the wrong thing to the wrong person, they would walk away from me, abandon me, and leave me on my own again. I had to be selectively honest. I had to change myself into the person I thought others wanted me to be. I had to put a smile on my face, so no one would ever ask me what was wrong, and look at me as less than. I had to get what I could from you, then push you away before you could hurt me. My walls were so thick, I became numb. I lost me. I then started hating me for the person I was turning into. I ran from those emotions and the carnal worldly lifestyle of addictions became my safety net, I could always count on them. They would never leave me. I could find them anywhere. This was my mentality for many years.<br />
Becoming sober was an amazing gift from God, because I can now see the positive side of the things I have been through. Yeah, it's been really tough, and I truly have had a hard time releasing some of the pain from past traumas, resentments of others, and forgiving myself for my past actions. Coming to this psych unit was the best thing for my sobriety, even at 20 months sober. I tend to be very stubborn and tough headed, and the way I learn lessons is usually by sledgehammers to the face from God (metaphorically of course). I am learning many more positive coping mechanisms, and I have been triggered to my past traumas, and am finally ready to get the intensive therapy needed to let these things go to God, and learning to be completely honest with the people who can help me. I know the things I've been through, and are still going through, will be worth it, because it is helping me to really work to appreciate the good things in life, and help others who still need a guiding hand to get back to a life of positivity and connection to others and to God.<br />
<br /></div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-10672571475423884832018-10-07T17:00:00.000-07:002018-10-07T17:02:09.694-07:00Hope In The Fight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hope In The Fight<br />
6 October 2018<br />
<br />
The fight is still so real, it pulls me to and fro.<br />
It makes me feel insane, like I have nowhere safe to go.<br />
It yells inside my head, tells me I'm a fool;<br />
That in seeking out some help, I'm just another mule.<br />
I know that this is temporary, it will not last that long,<br />
And the purpose of this fight, is to make me strong.<br />
I know that there are others fighting right beside;<br />
Yet part of me still wishes, the fight would just subside.<br />
Depression and anxiety fill me to the core.<br />
I can tell you this much, this life is not a bore.<br />
There's beauty still around, faith and love still there;<br />
Even though I hide them, making me feel bare.<br />
I won't give into evil, it cannot have my life;<br />
Though it tries to overcome, and cuts me like a knife.<br />
I know that God is watching, offering His aid;<br />
Sometimes it's through angels, or offering a blockade.<br />
Sometimes it's through man who offer a kind deed;<br />
Or nature, music, scriptures; even in books I read.<br />
I know He won't give up in helping me return.<br />
There are just so many lessons I have yet to learn.<br />
So when I feel despair and my path seems hard to follow;<br />
I look down at my feet and take one step towards tomorrow.<br />
It's the only way I know that today I can bear,<br />
The struggles set before me; and one day I can share,<br />
The hope that kept me going on this journey I went through,<br />
To the Glory in the end, when we are made anew.</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-78202857706167184122018-07-09T19:46:00.000-07:002018-12-27T07:32:50.481-08:00My Reality<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My Reality<br />
Marie Slider<br />
9 July 2017<br />
<br />
In an alternate reality, of days long past,<br />
Stood a broken little girl, in a rock hard cast.<br />
No one really loved her, that was what she thought.<br />
In her mind she was abandoned, left alone to rot.<br />
People all around her, would pick on her or tease,<br />
Taking it all personal, she told her heart to freeze.<br />
Her pain grew even deeper, when someone took advantage.<br />
So she knew she had to run, her emotions she must manage.<br />
The beginning was to fake a smile, in every situation;<br />
Becoming a chameleon, so she could prove her station.<br />
Next were the addictions, manipulating, lying;<br />
Before she even realized it, no longer was she trying.<br />
It became a way of life, no effort left at all;<br />
To run or drink her life away, was her only call.<br />
Going through the motions, not letting others in,<br />
She felt that to pretend, was the only way to win.<br />
She saw glimmers here and there, never finding peace,<br />
Running to wrong places, to try to get release.<br />
The people she kept close, she loved as best she could.<br />
Most were lost just like her, clinging to falsehood.<br />
The ruin this was causing, never crossed her mind.<br />
Her worth she had been walking on, so hope was hard to find.<br />
It took her long to realize, her perspectives were all wrong.<br />
She was worthy of true love; she had been all along.<br />
With this simple knowledge, lines were surely shifted.<br />
The weights of old realities, were slowly being lifted.<br />
The past provided lessons, for healing to occur.<br />
She learned to focus on today, for the future was a blur.<br />
Now in this strange new realm, unfolding everyday,<br />
Stands a hopeful little girl, discovering her way.<br />
Vulnerable and open, to learn humility;<br />
Willing to make progress, towards the day she's free;<br />
She fights a daily battle, forgiveness to attain,<br />
For from her past reality, resentments do remain.<br />
She has to snuff the urges, of building up more walls;<br />
Especially when she feels, she's had too many falls.<br />
She only knows the next right step, is opening her heart,<br />
To that Holy Power; He'll outline her part.<br />
He's watched her all along, providing her protection.<br />
She no longer tries, to run from that connection.<br />
She does not thrive in chaos, or causing a commotion.<br />
She can stand her ground, not hiding from emotion.<br />
The unknown, though a mystery, no longer is so scary,<br />
If the present is unpleasant, she knows it's temporary.<br />
She gets up if she falls, and holds her head up high.<br />
She knows that it's okay, if she needs to cry.<br />
Continuing this daily, her past no longer binds,<br />
And on anxieties of tomorrow, she can lower blinds.<br />
Not knowing what the future brings, is but a tiny cost,<br />
The blessing of uncertainty? She is no longer lost.</div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-71786500142957745792018-06-14T00:40:00.001-07:002018-06-14T00:49:02.655-07:00Sister of the Night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black;">Sister of the Night</span></div>
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June 14, 2018<br />
<br /></div>
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I look at the Moon and wonder, as she shines so very bright,</div>
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That even through all she's suffered, she shows up day and night.</div>
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She doesn't care that comets, have hit her many times.</div>
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She doesn't care that Earth, can hide the Sun that shines.</div>
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She doesn't mind the vastness, the universe entails.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">She just moves around so gracefully, as if guided by handrails.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She glides above the storms, while we all run and hide.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">She's not restricted by the laws, that we create and "must" abide.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Money is just an object, no value to her at all.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She knows the only value, that matters is her call.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She doesn't dress to impress, like most are prone to do.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She shows up as herself, as God intended her to.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She stays above the surface and gently guides below,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">To help the ships being tossed, by the winds that blow.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She spreads her light to all in need, who may have lost their way.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She is not phased by negativity, no matter what we say.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">She does her best to block, the rest of us down here,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">From many hurdling objects, that may cause us to fear.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">When perhaps it seems she fails, and something passes by,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She does not hide in shame, or focuses on why.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">She simply continues onward, following the plan.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">There are others she must help, she does the best she can.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We all can learn alot, from our sister of the night,</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">About the way to do our duty, to show another light.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">It means to be ourselves, no matter what may come,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Remembering our workload, is an individual one.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We must keep moving forward, even showered by some pain.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Though it's not that easy, we have muscles to attain.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">It seems we are not perfect, as the world may choose to view,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">However we have power, and each day we start anew.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We must love all those around us, and help them as we're able.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Especially if their rations, are barer at the table.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">By doing our simple duty, of showing love to others,</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">We can help them move forward, our sisters and our brothers.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">They too have a duty, that only they can know,</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">To help someone else, out of the winds that blow.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We cannot know another's future, ours are even blurred.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We cannot judge them by, past mistakes that have occurred.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Our paths will cross many times, and though we may not see,</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: black;">They may have blocked a path or two, that we weren't meant to be.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">So as we go about our lives, I hope we can remember,</span></div>
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To do the very best we can, January to December.</div>
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One day we'll see God's grand design, and all the ways we meshed,</div>
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If we gave light to just one person, we'll know we did our best.</div>
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<br /></div>
<br /></div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-77733510102136443402018-05-14T06:09:00.001-07:002018-05-14T06:09:17.997-07:00This week's realizations.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black;">The last few days have been rough; and I mean gut wretching, tear filled, guilt ridden, head pounding, emotional volcano explosion, rough. For many years in my past, I have been someone that I don't even recognize anymore. I was scared, hurt, lost, chained by a repeated merry-go-round of habits I couldn't </span><span style="color: black;">excape</span><span style="color: black;">, I didn't know how to escape. Inside was a little girl crying to be released from the cage she had been forced into. As I'm learning to reach up to get the keys of willingness from the Creator above, I can see the light finally reaching through the darkness to show me the way. However, the muck and weights that I have been carrying, and adding to for so many years is trying to keep me down. I know they will not forever be there, and most days I wish I could just float up from the cage and be set free immedia</span><span style="color: black;">tely, that would not give me the muscles I need in future battles. </span><span style="color: black;">Somes</span><span style="color: black;"> I feel like I just want to dig down deeper, hide, and pretend that little girl has never existed, and go back down the crappy road I was stuck on, that would not allow me any room to grow. I truly am grate</span><span style="color: black;">ful that through this journey I am not alone, that I have help along the way. As long as I continue reaching up and out, I will escape to the true reality of love, peace and joy. This gives me hope everytime I feel like giving up. I've come a long way, and I will continue to fight. I know many others out there are going through their own version of this battle. We are not alone, peace waits just beyond the darkness, we just have to keep reaching, because hands will always be there guiding us out.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-57633600520516986262018-04-17T19:57:00.000-07:002018-04-17T20:01:45.566-07:00Fight for Freedom<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Fight for Freedom<br />
17 April 2018<br />
<br />
At the end of the path the darkness gets thick.<br />
I push my way through, feeling this is a trick.<br />
When I finally see that door so inviting,<br />
I feel my breath catch and I know I'm surviving.<br />
Suddenly fingers start wrapping around me.<br />
They pull me so hard, I fall to my knee.<br />
They tug at my heart and tighten the strings.<br />
They make me feel many negative things.<br />
They get into my mind and wriggle my brain,<br />
Changing my thoughts to make me insane.<br />
They squeeze at my throat my words disappear,<br />
Until the end of my voice starts getting near.<br />
They blindfold my eyes with a blur so intense,<br />
The hope I saw before looks surrounded by fence.<br />
They tie up my feet so I can't take a step,<br />
Stealing away my vigor and pep.<br />
They reach for my hands so I can't touch the knob,<br />
My fingers I'm stretching, go numb and throb.<br />
However, this journey that God sent me on,<br />
Has given me muscles to help make me strong.<br />
I pull out my hands from those fingers so tough,<br />
When I finally realize I have had enough.<br />
I wrench them off from strangling my voice,<br />
Remembering through this, I always have a choice.<br />
I whisper the words, faith in God does remain,<br />
I ask for some help to escape this pain.<br />
My eyes start to flicker, my sight is reborn,<br />
I see the fingers now, and where my skin they have torn.<br />
Behind me I feel a presence like ice,<br />
Trying to intimidate, those eyes they do slice.<br />
They feel like daggers all over my back,<br />
And I keep reaching forward giving no slack.<br />
Knob in hand I feel like a rubber band,<br />
If I let go, in darkness I'll land.<br />
I turn it as fast as I possibly can,<br />
Feeling the cold behind like a huge roaring fan.<br />
I pull open the door and His warmness engulfs me,<br />
A feeling more grand than I could foresee.<br />
His light from inside blasts out all around.<br />
The fingers retreat; I'm no longer bound.<br />
My first step in Freedom, I gratefully take.<br />
From the nightmare that was; I finally wake.</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-59561869281863173852018-04-08T20:18:00.002-07:002018-04-08T20:18:19.677-07:00Paying it Forward<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Paying it
Forward<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
8 April 2018<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’m not sure
what to write about, yet I know that this is right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have to
keep using my words to stay within the fight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The fight
for freedom and happiness has to begin with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or else my
world is doomed, for all eternity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
God gave me
a voice to speak, in speaking I can find.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The strength
to move forward, if only in my mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Writing helps
release, the bonds upon my heart,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know I’ll
never be finished, this is just a start.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The journey
is a long one, I know without a doubt.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes I want
to cry, others I need to shout.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That does
not diminish, the power of my words,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
For sometimes
they take flight, just like little birds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
To a broken
heart that needs hope and love within,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So on their own
long journey, they can finally begin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There are
many in this world suffering as I did,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because they
felt alone, like a lost little kid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Someone was
always there, though to them I was blind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And as I look
within my past, it’s not that hard to find;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That though I
felt alone, someone was always there, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
To help me
lift my load, my burden they did share.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Maybe it was
church, or family or a friend,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Mostly it
was strangers, who had a hand to lend.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Whether it
was a smile, or a kind word when required,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Even though I
couldn’t see, hope never retired.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’d see the
love of a child, who shyly waved a hand,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or saw a
smile on someone, who heard their favorite band.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have seen many
men, who hold open many doors, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And when I have
dropped something, some got on all fours,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
To help me
gather up, my items on the ground,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And even if I
didn’t thank them, malice wasn’t found.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There truly
are kind people, who genuinely care,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Even if my
love inside, is feeling very bare.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So when I feel
ungrateful, I try to bring to mind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
All the love
that is around me, it’s not too hard to find.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have to
pay it forward, I’m starting to realize.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or else I take
another step, toward my own demise.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This world
is not my own, to do with as I please,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have to
start my day, firmly on my knees.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I ask that
God can guide me, and not let me run away,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
From the
negativity I see around me, every passing day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I ask for
Him instead, to let me be His light,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know that
He protects me, so I thank Him every night.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He shows me
how I can help, another in distress<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes I don’t
know how, this I must confess.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So I have to
open my mouth, and ask for what they need.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Even if they
say nothing, I know I kept to the creed,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The one I made
to God, that I love my fellow brother,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And if they
are not ready for help, I turn to another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
If only to
plant a seed, from God who knows the best,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
For others
He will send, to take care of the rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We all need
each other, to fill our hearts with memories,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So we can
see God moments, that show up in our stories.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I hope one
day I see, everyone involved,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That helped
me on my way, while this world revolved.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know I wouldn’t
make it, traveling alone,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’m glad
that there were others whose light I was shone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Though fear,
anger, sadness, still remain inside,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’m not
worried any more, for love now does reside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Inside where
there were cobwebs, God shook them from the wall,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So off the
cliff of negativity, I didn’t have to fall.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Now I must
repay, the kindness that He gave me,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
By sending
other people, in my life to save me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I will try forever
more, to help others every day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
To give
someone light, to help them on their way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know if I can
do this, God won’t let me down,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because when
I am lost, to Him I’m always found.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-25169214635143314322018-03-27T16:06:00.001-07:002018-03-27T16:06:33.358-07:00The War I Refuse to Fight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2h6bm-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2h6bm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2h6bm-0-0"><span data-text="true">The War I Refuse to Fight</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="8erto-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8erto-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="8erto-0-0"><span data-text="true">27 March 2018</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="5jere-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5jere-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="5jere-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="edfja-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="edfja-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="edfja-0-0"><span data-text="true">
</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="bgebj-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bgebj-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bgebj-0-0"><span data-text="true">It’s becoming clearer every day; the war that’s being fought,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="r3ce-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="r3ce-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="r3ce-0-0"><span data-text="true">Between brother, sister, man and wife; hearts are turning to rot.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="a9prr-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a9prr-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="a9prr-0-0"><span data-text="true">There’s fighting, bickering, slandering and putting others down.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="54a2r-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="54a2r-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="54a2r-0-0"><span data-text="true">Yet in the end, can you find anyone actually wearing a crown?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="f6re3-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="f6re3-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="f6re3-0-0"><span data-text="true">Many find joy in stomping another’s small fire out,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="12uk4-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="12uk4-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="12uk4-0-0"><span data-text="true">Can they not see the darkness they are creating all about?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="fnor1-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fnor1-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="fnor1-0-0"><span data-text="true">Others try to force their views, like they are the only way.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2i24r-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2i24r-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2i24r-0-0"><span data-text="true">Do we not live in a land of freedom for all to have their say?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="1i3o5-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1i3o5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1i3o5-0-0"><span data-text="true">What’s the point in always putting the other guy down?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="7cbnp-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7cbnp-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="7cbnp-0-0"><span data-text="true">Do you really enjoy the strain of constantly wearing a frown?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="cj2it-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cj2it-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="cj2it-0-0"><span data-text="true">Why do we hide our similarities and only bring differences up?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="7ehua-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7ehua-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="7ehua-0-0"><span data-text="true">In the end must we not all drink from the same bitter cup?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="fheg4-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fheg4-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="fheg4-0-0"><span data-text="true">Do you think the riches of this world are all you can achieve?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="8gc2k-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8gc2k-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="8gc2k-0-0"><span data-text="true">Do you think the glory of beating someone, can change the way they believe?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="72l8e-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="72l8e-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="72l8e-0-0"><span data-text="true">Why do we continue the cycle of hurting others when we’ve been hurt?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="3tc49-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3tc49-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3tc49-0-0"><span data-text="true">Why when we have fallen, do we knock others into the dirt?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="76l3o-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="76l3o-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="76l3o-0-0"><span data-text="true">Have you never had a time in your life, another has offered a hand?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="57hrf-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="57hrf-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="57hrf-0-0"><span data-text="true">Have you never slowed down at all to hear nature’s wonderful band?</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="bnl13-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bnl13-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bnl13-0-0"><span data-text="true">Conversations and debates are healthy, to help you think for yourself,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="304gd-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="304gd-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="304gd-0-0"><span data-text="true">Yet putting someone down for their beliefs, will not improve your wealth.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="b7t0u-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7t0u-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="b7t0u-0-0"><span data-text="true">The evil one will always fight, he will never have quite enough,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="75aec-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="75aec-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="75aec-0-0"><span data-text="true">If you let him control your heart, your road will always be rough.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="bqoir-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bqoir-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bqoir-0-0"><span data-text="true">When you push others away, putting more baggage on your back,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="asck4-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="asck4-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="asck4-0-0"><span data-text="true">You really make it easier to fall again, while walking on your track.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="cq8h1-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cq8h1-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="cq8h1-0-0"><span data-text="true">We’ll need each other in the end when we see the bigger picture,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="9t7t8-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9t7t8-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="9t7t8-0-0"><span data-text="true">For we all have different strengths and gifts, we must add to the mixture.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="6h9ui-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6h9ui-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="6h9ui-0-0"><span data-text="true">So I will not engage to blaspheme or fight people any more,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="7deq5-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7deq5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="7deq5-0-0"><span data-text="true">Unless, by chance, a fight is brought upon my very door.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2nd6g-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2nd6g-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2nd6g-0-0"><span data-text="true">Then I’ll protect family and friends, feeling love still for my enemy,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="brs6d-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="brs6d-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="brs6d-0-0"><span data-text="true">Because tomorrow, they may humble themselves to ask for help from me.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="dfi51-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dfi51-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="dfi51-0-0"><span data-text="true">I have been in pain before, and couldn’t see beyond the lies, </span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="eh26j-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="eh26j-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="eh26j-0-0"><span data-text="true">And others were waiting patiently to comfort all my cries.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="7recv-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7recv-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="7recv-0-0"><span data-text="true">So today I wait patiently, for others who may need a friend,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2r8i3-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2r8i3-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2r8i3-0-0"><span data-text="true">For I finally see we are all brothers and sisters in the end.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="1gm6a-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1gm6a-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1gm6a-0-0"><span data-text="true">There’s a life worth so much more than fighting each other will attain;</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="a425h-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a425h-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="a425h-0-0"><span data-text="true">A life of love and harmony, in which we can forever remain.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="42ac7-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="42ac7-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="42ac7-0-0"><span data-text="true">The enemy is not one, of flesh or blood or bone,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="c9jm7-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="c9jm7-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="c9jm7-0-0"><span data-text="true">It is the negativity inside that hides our light when it is shown.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="eurrp-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="eurrp-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="eurrp-0-0"><span data-text="true">That’s why we must lift each other in times of need or hurt</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="1r3o0-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1r3o0-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1r3o0-0-0"><span data-text="true">And stop letting the evil one win, by arguing things of no worth.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2mod4-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2mod4-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2mod4-0-0"><span data-text="true">Look in a child’s eyes, before he’s been corrupted,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="6n90n-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6n90n-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="6n90n-0-0"><span data-text="true">Before the lies of differences, his love had interrupted.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="9ossh-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9ossh-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="9ossh-0-0"><span data-text="true">Those are the very eyes, where truth can really be found, </span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="9jfo-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9jfo-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="9jfo-0-0"><span data-text="true">Of the Creator from above, who made us from the ground.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="fv6hf-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fv6hf-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="fv6hf-0-0"><span data-text="true">He sent us here to test us, so we could overcome,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2fjob-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2fjob-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2fjob-0-0"><span data-text="true">The pride that this world creates in us, and learn to become as one.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="1kusd-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1kusd-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1kusd-0-0"><span data-text="true">We cannot make it on our own, this has been proved by all,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2vm96-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2vm96-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2vm96-0-0"><span data-text="true">From the very beginning when Adam had his first fall.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="3fle6-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3fle6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3fle6-0-0"><span data-text="true">God then sent children to help him get back to a life of respect,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="2uo42-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2uo42-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="2uo42-0-0"><span data-text="true">For he had to work for his freedom, and others he had to protect.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="c2mla-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="c2mla-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="c2mla-0-0"><span data-text="true">God never did let Adam, abide this life alone,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="aenjv-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="aenjv-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="aenjv-0-0"><span data-text="true">He knew love burned brighter, if to others it is shown.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="1i0o0-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1i0o0-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1i0o0-0-0"><span data-text="true">So please if you are struggling, don’t lash out on one another,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="ekt8p-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ekt8p-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ekt8p-0-0"><span data-text="true">Instead see how you can help and lift a fellow brother.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="71dba-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="71dba-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="71dba-0-0"><span data-text="true">Tomorrow it may be you, who needs a comforting smile,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="8pvq5-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8pvq5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="8pvq5-0-0"><span data-text="true">So why don’t we offer another a compliment, once in a while.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="6giij-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6giij-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="6giij-0-0"><span data-text="true">Instead of attacking others and making them feel small,</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="cmado-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cmado-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="cmado-0-0"><span data-text="true">Let us stand united, against negativity, once and for all.</span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a1dqv-0-0">
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7vslm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="7vslm-0-0"><span data-text="true">
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<span data-offset-key="fpgie-0-0"><span data-text="true">
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<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="8l9ne-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8l9ne-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="8l9ne-0-0"><span data-text="true">
</span></span></div>
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<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="cqh2d-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cqh2d-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="cqh2d-0-0"><span data-text="true">
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<div data-block="true" data-editor="aij8m" data-offset-key="eun4g-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="eun4g-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="eun4g-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></div>
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-60176429054080387912018-03-22T00:05:00.001-07:002018-03-22T00:11:01.468-07:00The Mighty Foe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've had a rough couple weeks. In my head alot, but I wrote this poem tonight. I'm sharing in hopes it may help someone else.<br />
<br />
The Mighty Foe<br />
22 March 2018<br />
<br />
<br />
There's a poem I once wrote about a mighty foe,<br />
It's like a dream when I think of so long ago.<br />
Back then it was just an average name,<br />
Of a liquidy substance some drank in shame.<br />
I knew it caused problems it was easy to see,<br />
I couldn't fathom to drink it, in the naiive little me.<br />
No one could make me, of that I was sure,<br />
My heart was still open, my intentions were pure.<br />
When I had been offered my first little drink,<br />
Something inside me decided not to shrink.<br />
I took a sip that I liked, then guzzled it down.<br />
If I had anymore I knew I would drown<br />
So I swore I would never pick it up again;<br />
Then my heart got shattered and my story began:<br />
Alcohol started to be my best friend.<br />
Anytime I was heartbroken it had an ear to lend.<br />
Everytime I was scared it gave me a hand,<br />
To help fight my battles or bury me in sand.<br />
When I was cold it warmed me right up.<br />
If I was tired it was a great pick-me-up.<br />
I was lonely alot, and it made me new friends,<br />
However, it blinded me to all the dead ends.<br />
When at last I was shown the life I was leading,<br />
It was like a horror book I was reading.<br />
I had pushed away the ones I loved most.<br />
The face in the mirror, was but a scared little ghost.<br />
The light in my eyes had completely diminished,<br />
And I knew at that moment, I had to be finished.<br />
I had hurt many people and blamed it on them;<br />
Really I was hurting myself, over and over again.<br />
I've thought many times of the damage I've done,<br />
Now with God's help, I know that I've won.<br />
The binds of this monster are finally falling off,<br />
Though I feel it inside and hear it scoff.<br />
It says I can't do it, that I'll never win.<br />
It says I'm not worthy, that I should give in.<br />
When I refuse to let the fight go on,<br />
I give it to God, that these fears may be gone.<br />
I know that He'll help me, He's given me tools,<br />
To help me swim across the negativity pools.<br />
Some days it's harder to escape the madness;<br />
Those days I am grateful, not full of sadness.<br />
For those days remind me how far I have traveled,<br />
And show me that alcohol's binds have unraveled.<br />
Now instead of running or hiding somewhere,<br />
I know I can turn to someone who'll share,<br />
Their experience, love, understanding and peace.<br />
There are plenty of others who have found release.<br />
I know I can turn to God, church or family,<br />
Or if I'm not ready I have friends who will hear me.<br />
Some strangers are willing to listen, I'm learning,<br />
For their past has also left their heart burning.<br />
So try as you may, you will never win,<br />
For mighty foe named alcohol, I will not let you in.<br />
My heart now, does not have the space;<br />
It is a grateful, loving, and peaceful place.<br />
And as long as I listen, and let God run the show,<br />
He will tie my life together, not with binds; with a bow.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-32275619564827315202018-02-25T22:03:00.001-08:002018-02-25T22:03:22.263-08:00Choices<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">War, contention,
fighting, violence, intolerance, hatred, bitterness, pain, resentments. Sound familiar
to everyone? Yeah I thought so. It’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!! Negativity is
prevailing!!! So it seems anyways. I lived in fear for years, which in turn
made me participate in all of these things in one way or another. “No one likes
me, everyone hates me; someone hurt me so I have to hurt them; someone made me
mad, so I got a resentment; someone isn’t doing what I’m doing, what I want
them to do, or what I think they should do, now I hate them because they are
wrong; my ideas are better than theirs, I have to prove them wrong or at least I
have to make others hate them too; there’s only one way to do this, or that; oh
they may not like me (or any other assumptions), ok screw them all, I can do
everything myself, and ill push them out of my way to get what I want; oh they
look different than me, I hate them; oh they don’t think I’m pretty, I hate
myself.” I could go on and on and on, of the things I’ve done, or things I thought
about when I was lost and caught up in all of this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What changed, however, is
that I made a choice. Just one choice, I chose not to be directed by fear and
negativity any longer. I chose love, patience, tolerance, positivity. That’s
right, I said I CHOSE!!!! It is all a choice for me, difficult some days,
however, I try my best every day. And the cool thing is…. every day is a new
day!!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For years I was chained
by negativity, because I chose those chains. I didn’t know it at the time, and
when I was ready to see those chains, they were finally revealed to me, and I chose
to reach out for help. Now with all of the craziness and fighting still going
on in my head, I choose not to participate in the war whenever I recognize it,
and talk to others about it, or I distract myself in other positive ways; reading
a book, watching a movie, creating, writing. I choose not to fancy any of the
negativity, because I choose not to be bound again in chains. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If someone doesn’t like
me? Oh well, I love them. Someone doesn’t think I’m pretty? Well I think I’m
beautiful. Someone is a different religion than me? Cool, what maybe we can
learn from each other!!! Someone looks sad? Maybe they need to talk. Someone wants
to fight me? I’m walking away. Someone has different political views than me? Cool,
let’s see who wins the elections. I feel like someone could use some uplifting
words? Cool I’ll share a poem. Someone doesn’t like the way I write? Awesome, I
wonder how they write; maybe I can learn something from their words. I didn’t get
everything accomplished today? That’s ok; I did my best doing the things I did.
If someone tries to argue with me about my beliefs, I try walk away. If they
want to know my opinion, I give it, genuinely trying not to put them down. If I
feel I may make a nasty comment, I try to keep my mouth shut. If I don’t agree
with their words, I try not to force them to believe as I do, because it’s a choice
they have to make themselves. I just shut up and listen sometimes. Every choice
I make, in some way shape or form, will have some sort of ramifications or
consequence. The choice that I have already made, and I try to make it every
day, is that I will make my actions based on love and positivity. I will try to
keep my motives genuine, and I am working on tolerance of intolerant people.
Maybe one day we can all get along, and until that day, I will continue to love
you all, just the way you are!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-47342695181404579642018-02-21T23:08:00.000-08:002018-02-21T23:08:05.776-08:00Confined<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I started
writing this, and I was fighting with the idea to post it, because I’m still
working on the strength to continue on this journey of healing, after a little
bump in the road. Then as I was reading the Bible, a certain verse was brought
to my attention, and again I was prompted that I needed to share this. I’m not
sure who this is for, please, just know that God loves you, and the wisdom I have,
is that God is watching out for all of us, and He will give us the strength to
get through pain, and help others.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
KJV Ecclesiastes
9:18<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Wisdom is
better than weapons of war; but one sinner destroyeth much good.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u>Confined<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
22 February 2018<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The simple thought to run, goes trailing through my mind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
At a million miles per hour, it almost makes me blind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The idea that somehow I should have escaped;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The mental confusion, why do I feel raped?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That person never laid a finger on me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The fear, nevertheless, was complete reality.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Feeling lost, torn, and broken, my nerves on edge,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I thought I’d lost these feelings, threw them off a ledge.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yet a recent situation, made me feel confined,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
My voice was left behind again, my body in a bind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Though God protected me and let me walk away,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
My heart is turned to others, who knew this pain today.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Those who felt like they were under attack;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Those who have no clue, how they can fight back.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes we are faced with people who are sick,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or we get stuck in situations, we would never pick. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes things happen, no one likes to talk about,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And I see it’s finally time, to let these feelings out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
For years I was lost from things beyond control.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It made me live in fear, darkened up my soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Instead of reaching out for help, from those I truly love,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or even sending a prayer out to the One that lives above,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I made the choice to hide using anything in reach.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I gave poison to some people, and to others became a leach.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It took a Power greater than I could ever dream,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And a group of remarkable people, on whom I could lean,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
For me to finally realize my worth was never gone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I just had to figure out, my thinking was all wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had told myself that I was alone, no one could understand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then others stood around me and held me by the hand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They had felt the same way, many years for some,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And they had found together, a reason not to run.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A Power even greater still, that no one can define.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He could take the pain away, completely from my mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
When I finally humbled myself to ask for His wise words,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He blatantly told me to help other long lost birds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He gave me a brand new voice, in writing He said I can heal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Not just myself, to all who release the wheel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have to give voice to those who can’t speak,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because they are not ready, or feel too weak.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have learned and I know, God will always listen<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And He sees my tears, the ones that glisten.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He knows my pain, and He wants all to know,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That His love is all around, even in shadow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes we are blind, though His blessings abound,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And we need others to show us that love can be found.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That’s what I needed to help clear my past,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And to learn that I needed to sacrifice the cast<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The one that I put on protecting my frail heart,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So I could finally address where I need to start.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Forgiving others and myself, is the answer to my freedom,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And I know that day is coming, it’s finally the season<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
With sharing my pain with others, I see the light inside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s starting to illuminate, and eliminate the pride.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don’t feel so alone, I know God will set me free,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And one day the pain will subside, for all eternity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-5363707786829061922018-02-18T19:43:00.000-08:002018-02-18T19:43:06.749-08:00Insane Sanity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Insane Sanity<br />15 February 2018<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
This insane sanity that has taken over my mind,<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br />Is something, I wish everyone could find.<br />It's the idea that in life, I can actually be free,<br />From doubt, shame, fear and misery.<br />For years I created many false stories,<br />Written in my own mind's laboratories.<br />Somehow I knew love couldn't be mine,<br />And pushing everyone away, was totally fine.<br />I told myself I would forever be,<br />Victim, burden, slave for eternity.<br />I told myself there was no way out,<br />Adhearing to negativity and doubt.<br />I always had hope, one day things would change.<br />Yet I continuing firing down that same lonely range.<br />I now know that was the true insanity,<br />Continuing on that path of righteous vanity.<br />My ego said I was better than everyone,<br />Because I was the only person who wanted to run.<br />When I finally let go, and let someone else drive,<br />My vessel stopped taking so many nosedives.<br />This is the thought that has taken over my life,<br />And cut through all the lies, like a burning knife.<br />The secret to escape from where I was caged,<br />Was learning my movements, were on myself gaged.<br />It took me a while to figure this out,<br />And I'm constantly learning to fight the bout.<br />When my brain starts to take control,<br />I ask God to shut it off, free my heart and soul.<br />In my mind there remains a daily fight,<br />I must ask Him again to let His will take flight.<br />I know if I depend on the One up above,<br />And those He put in my live, teaching me love,<br />My story may never actually shift,<br />Yet the clouds surrounding it will surely lift.<br />I'm a different story teller than I was in days past,<br />And by reaching out, my insane sanity will always last.</span></div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-81400150911507347832018-02-18T11:39:00.002-08:002018-02-18T11:39:12.356-08:00Red Bird<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black;">Red Bird</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">15 February 2018</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder what the red bird sings as </span><span style="color: black;"><u>he's</u></span><span style="color: black;"> sitting on the branch,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Would the words of his song eventually create a mighty avalanche?</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder what his lyrics mean that I have yet to understand,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">If I sing his words to you what it mean the same without a band?</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder if his thoughts would be of fear like most of us,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Or would they be so powerful that my brain would turn to dust?</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder how his day unveils, does he worry like we do,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Or does he just fly around knowing God will guide him through?</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder if the day will come I can sit down by his side,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">And learn how I can keep my song with me through the ride.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I wonder if he truly knows the love I feel for him,</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">For just like every creation of God, I see him as my kin.</span></div>
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-49241121150613454802018-02-14T13:19:00.002-08:002018-02-14T13:19:48.315-08:00Just Write<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span data-offset-key="brem3-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes I can’t help but feel frozen. I can’t speak what I am thinking; I can’t write what I am feeling. I get writers block or I start to sensor myself based on what others may think about my writing or my words. I start feeling I may be judged by the majority or that I may be disliked for my words. Then I remember. I remember that I have to push through that fear and start writing from my heart. My words may help one person; just one person, and that person is who I write for. I write for the person who needs my words right now. That one person is you. That person may be the child sitting alone in their room, hearing their parents argue, and feeling like there is no hope in the world. That person may be the man, who just lost his wife from cancer, and is looking online one last time before he chooses to join her. That person may be the alcoholic or addict, who just came to, in a pile of her own vomit, and feels like no one understands what she is going though. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="knt2-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I write for the minority. My words are for the individual; each individual going through their own individual journey, who may need hope right now. As each individual finds hope, joy and peace, one day we will become the majority. One day we will become the norm; those of us who have found peace; those of us who have fought to get to where we are and made it through with empathy, love, faith; those of us who generally appreciate each day we are given, because we have known what it was like to be down with nothing except misery and contempt. We know what it is like to be in pain, controlled by fear, anxiety and depression. We know what it is like to feel like the world would be better without us. We know what it feels like when someone offers their hand to us, and how hard it was to reach out and take it. We know what it’s like to literally, day by day, just make it through on a prayer. We know what it is like to rock and cry ourselves to sleep because we want so badly to escape reality, but we have seen how much damage that escape was actually causing. However, we don’t have the strength in that moment to reach out for help, so we just white knuckle it through the night, praying that we can make it through to the next morning. We know what it is like to grab, reach, and crawl through despair, agony, and fear, barely making it on the other side to find love, empathy, and compassion from others who have already made it through on their journey.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ch48-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I hope I will never be ashamed to share my story, never be ashamed to share my fight with others. God has shown me that my words have helped others find him. By sharing my words, it continues building my strength to fight another day. One day I know I will I will find complete peace and serenity. For now I just need to continue to write and speak, and as long as it is with good intentions, not belittling others, or intentionally attacking people, God will direct my words to the individual who needs to hear them today. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="pthu-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">To anyone else struggling like I have, with writing for an individual, instead of the majority opinion, I say, just write. Your thoughts, feelings, and entire existence is meant to be part of a bigger story, that we will one day see, and you are meant to connect with individuals. Forget those who try to tear you down. Forget those who are envious, or irritated at your words. Your words may save a life today, and tomorrow, your words may save the life of the individual who tried to tear you down today. With God in your heart, just write.</span></div>
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-20636630333661240042018-02-04T23:18:00.001-08:002018-02-04T23:18:42.610-08:00Understanding Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<u>Understanding Love</u></div>
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5 February 2018<o:p></o:p></div>
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For years I knew the concept of love, though it took a very long time,<o:p></o:p></div>
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To understand God’s plan for me, that love could really be mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Somewhere along the way my signals got all disturbed;<o:p></o:p></div>
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The idea of an actual love was absolutely absurd.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As my heart started reopening and the walls were falling apart,<o:p></o:p></div>
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The idea of true self-love is where I had to start.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My self-love began by learning that I truly am a daughter,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Given to faithful earthly parents to guide me back to Heavenly Father.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The next step was learning, that God had given me a call,<o:p></o:p></div>
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So I could escape the ramifications of Adam’s original fall.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There is work that I am starting; filling my lamp up with oil,<o:p></o:p></div>
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And watering that seed of faith that was hidden beneath the soil.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am starting to learn of charity, and humbling myself to Christ,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Although in my past I have denied him, more than only thrice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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God knew I needed help, to guide me along my way,<o:p></o:p></div>
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So he sent me helping hands, to work with day by day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He connected me with another brother, the spirit who lives inside<o:p></o:p></div>
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To help me buckle up, for ahead lay a bumpy ride.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He gave me sister Gaia, or Mother Nature as she’s known,<o:p></o:p></div>
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To help keep me grounded, as the changing winds have blown.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not sure what the future holds, or what awaits tomorrow,<o:p></o:p></div>
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However I know I’m grateful for those testimonies I’ve borrowed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I got them from others who’ve struggled and recognize God’s hand,<o:p></o:p></div>
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So that I could have some kind of foundation I can firmly stand.<o:p></o:p></div>
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They’ve helped me find my missing peace, to soften up my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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They’ve helped me escape that lie inside, a new journey to impart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The lie was that I didn’t know love, and thought I had to run.<o:p></o:p></div>
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However God has always shown it to me; He’s loved me all along.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I just couldn’t see, beyond the guilt and shame,<o:p></o:p></div>
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That I needed to fix my view, and stop giving others blame.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I made choices in my past, that led me to dark places,<o:p></o:p></div>
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And as I look back now, I see the love in all those cases.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was never alone, though I really did struggle,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Every time I asked for help, He pushed away the rubble.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So to my family up in Heaven, and the ones down here below;<o:p></o:p></div>
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Whether I’ve met you before this day, or you’re a sibling yet to know;<o:p></o:p></div>
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I promise I will try to love you, the way that God intended.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know that while I’m doing this, my heart will be healed and mended.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I hope with my words and actions, others may one day see,<o:p></o:p></div>
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The love that God has for them, as others have shown me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-55388294019969075442018-02-03T13:08:00.001-08:002018-02-03T13:08:27.074-08:00More Me Than I Used to Be<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
More Me Than I Used to Be<br />
3 February 2018<br />
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All of my life I've collected pieces of varying sizes and shapes.<br />
I don't know why I held some close and others I hid behind drapes.<br />
Some people offered me distorted pieces and as a hoarder I couldn't see,<br />
That even though they were part of a puzzle, they didn't belong to me.<br />
They were part of someone else's picture, usually those who were trying,<br />
To hand them over to me instead, of by their own box abiding.<br />
Like them I too offered pieces, to others along my path,<br />
And as I'm learning to step back sometimes I have to laugh.<br />
There are some holes inside that make the picture hard to see,<br />
And other places I forced the shape of a distorted figure of me.<br />
I know the image I manipulated, is not the one God made,<br />
For He created everything beautiful just the way they were laid.<br />
At some point I looked in other boxes wishing mine was different,<br />
So I started mixing up our pieces creating something magnificent.<br />
I started forcing pieces together throwing others away,<br />
Stealing some from other people and my picture changed every day.<br />
Where I'm at now is trying to get back to the box that is mine alone,<br />
And with the help of other people, God's will is being shown.<br />
I'm learning how to pick up pieces, the ones I tried to hide,<br />
By giving them to other people or thrown away in pride.<br />
I'm letting go of the distorted ones that don't fit anywhere,<br />
And giving them back to their owners, so their box won't be so bare.<br />
God painted the picture on my box to be the way he desired,<br />
And I'm done trying to change things, it makes me just too tired.<br />
Slowly but surely as I get things in order I know one day I'll find,<br />
The picture that God had planned for me that got lost in my mind.<br />
Pieces are finally fitting together, in the way I know He wants.<br />
He's telling me that I'll be ok in my heart and in my thoughts.<br />
The only thing I know for sure, is I'm more me than I used to be,<br />
And I know the final piece of art is more perfect than eyes can see.</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-11238460596444806002018-01-16T20:12:00.002-08:002018-01-16T20:12:08.403-08:00Sister Gaia/Mother Earth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Sister Gaia/Mother Earth<o:p></o:p></div>
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22 November 2017<o:p></o:p></div>
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She lives, she breathes, she moves with a quiver,<o:p></o:p></div>
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though you may never see her heart, lungs or liver.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She laughs, she rejoices, and sometimes she cries,<o:p></o:p></div>
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she knows our presence here though you can’t see her eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She speaks and she yells, with a thunderous clap,<o:p></o:p></div>
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and sometimes she whispers in the wind at our back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She gives us the things we need to survive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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so why can’t we admit she’s even alive?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Water, food, shelter, warmth from above; <o:p></o:p></div>
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she even surrounds us with energy and love.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We cut, burn and dig to try to control her,<o:p></o:p></div>
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yet we rarely turn around and remember to thank her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am just as guilty as anyone else,<o:p></o:p></div>
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so I’m trying to change how I treat her myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Instead of giving her any type of abuse,<o:p></o:p></div>
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I really am trying to be of better use.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I try not to pick flowers or leaves anymore,<o:p></o:p></div>
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because they are connected through the roots in the floor.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If there is an animal in pain or in need,<o:p></o:p></div>
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I try to help out, to comfort or feed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We don’t have to hug trees to show her we care,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
just picking up trash can help clean the air.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We may never be perfect and that’s alright,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
we just have to respect her so she keeps up the fight.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-66534333069724657152018-01-16T19:56:00.002-08:002018-01-16T20:25:10.635-08:00Veteran's Day 2017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> As a fellow veteran I just wanted to take a
moment and thank all my brothers and sisters for all the hard work. With the
long hot motor pool days, shenanigans, boring hurry up and wait days, the
monotony, the politics, and the high school drama that many of you hear about,
I feel obligated to remind you all, who may not have gone this path, of the
stress of being pushed into unfamiliar settings, being isolated from any and
all family right out of high school, training for weeks or months on end in the
field with little sleep, portable showers twice a week if your
lucky/MRE's/water buffalos because there is no running water where you had to
set up your tents, not knowing how to integrate back to society and learn a
completely new language, code of ethics, and lifestyle from people who care
more about a selfie than respecting their parents, while we still get harassed
for saying "sir" or "ma'am" out of respect, and dont forget
the occasional deployments. Please, again, please, no matter what your
political or personal beliefs about the military, or any individual mess-ups
you may have met along the way, please do not assume you know what any other
veteran is going through just because of stories you've heard or a person you
may know. I have lost way more of my battle buddies in the years following the
deployment from suicide, than those killed in action. So many veterans feel
like they do not belong, have no support, suffer from survivors guilt, or even
just feel a sense of uselessness for not being able to do the job they were
trained to do for so many years, either because of getting out voluntarily, or
being medically discharged, which adds an extra layer of guilt, because now, at
somewhere in their 20's, they can no longer do the job most 50 year olds are
still doing without breaking a sweat. For so many years, I was lost in this
pain. I know now, that it was only due to my own insecurities, but I will tell
you, it would have been alot harder had I not had the support of family,
friends and even strangers along the way. But just because I faked a smile for
so many years, doesn't mean that I wasn't hurting just as much as those who
can't even build up the courage to fake a smile as you pass them on the street
or work with them, or go to school with them. Please do not assume that you
know anyone's story. All I ask, is don't be rude, don't be mean, don't judge.
Just be as accepting to veterans as you are to the people you meet at church.
We are all humans first, and our greatest goal of this life is to love one
another. I am grateful and proud for another God-given day being numbered among
the few.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-79437120363057296962018-01-16T19:54:00.003-08:002018-01-16T20:25:47.647-08:00Social Media Challenges/Dares/Competitions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ok,
so I have sat around watching from the background for far too long. I know I am
not a famous person, I know that a lot of people won’t read this, and I know
that there will be a lot of people who have different opinions. However, for my
own personal mindset, I feel I need to write something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">All
of these new, and exciting challenges that are coming to light in the recent
years, really have me thinking of how many children, teenagers, young adults,
and adults have actually never had anyone take the time to explain what is
really going on with these types of challenges, dares, competitions, or
whatever else you may have been exposed to. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
my own personal experience, I was lost in a very negative place, for a very
long time. Yes I went through tough experiences, people did crappy things to
me, but that didn’t give me the right to lash out on others. . Being in that
negative place, I let anger, fear, pain; sorrow, ego, and self-pity control me.
It has taken me 30 years of my life to finally be able to look back at the pain
and damage I was actually causing other people. Because I was miserable, I had
to make other people miserable, or I had to control every situation I was in. I
put up walls and pushed people away, put them on a pedestal, or pushed them
into the ground with my words and actions. I preyed on the weaknesses of
others, and I sought out other predators to make me a continuous victim. I was
renewing the e cycle of pain and negativity over and over again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That
is why, in my perception, these videos are so harmful to other people. I see
the pain in their eyes, and that pain has turned into anger and sometimes
without even realizing it, these individuals are trying to hurt themselves, or
trying to make other people hurt themselves. In the electronic, online life
that we live in today, it is so easy to get attention. And if you are not
getting positive feedback or attention, negative attention is so much more
appealing than no attention at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
my own personal life, I do my best to share positive attention, and
affirmations with everyone who passes me on my journey. I do not share those
videos or challenges on my own social media, because many people do not
understand that by sharing them, people are trying to show the dangers of these
types of situations, but a lot of people lost in pain are only seeing the
attention and shares that these types of challenges are getting. And so they
feel they must do the same, and the challenges get more and more dangerous. There
are so many teenagers who are dying because of this repetitive cycle. I wish
others would focus more of talking about the dangers, instead of showing the
activity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
don’t know if anyone is still reading at this point, but for those who may be
stuck in this cycle of pain and negativity, please know that there are others
out there who understand. They may not understand the exact details of your
story, but they can surely relate to the feelings of uselessness, pain,
self-pity, fear and anger that you are experiencing. Please reach out. There
are people that love you!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589672998184225303.post-37225067942604779812018-01-12T21:21:00.000-08:002018-01-16T20:24:27.493-08:00My Tools<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div align="left">
<div dir="ltr">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
My Tools<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
5 January 2018<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I was given <u>two</u> simple tools<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
when I first opened my eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
They were
both meant to help me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
to
get beyond the lies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
One was a ladder that extended<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
way beyond my farthest <u>sight;</u><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
One was a sturdy shovel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
to dig
through pain or fight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The goal was to move
forward<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and share love along
the way,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
But somehow I got lost<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and in pain I chose to stay.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Instead of using my shovel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
to help move
the pain aside,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Or fight through the
emotions<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
until they would subside,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I kept digging even deeper<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
And the walls began to climb.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
One day when I looked up<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I
saw the cage inside my mind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
In that moment I
remembered<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
the infinite ladder on
the edge,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
And
I hoped the extending power<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
could reach down below the ledge.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
In earnest I yelled
out<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
hoping someone would hear,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
And the One who gave the tools<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
showed He was actually very near.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
He threw me
down the ladder<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
but again I got distracted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I started digging yet again<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and the ladder never
retracted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Once I started noticing<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I was in pain and alone,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I looked up another
time<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and could feel the sun
that shone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I cried out as I
did before<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
thinking no one was
listening,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
But the <u>ladder</u> lowered
down to me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and I could hear Someone
whistling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Again I got
lost in sorrow and grief<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and kept digging my
life away,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Until at last, I finally
realized<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
that I was digging my
very own grave.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I yelled and I screamed<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and then cried out loud;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I could not see beyond<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
that stifling black cloud.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I blamed the One and
Only<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
who given me that shovel,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
And anyone else's name<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I could barely mumble.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Never once did I think<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I may be doing
something wrong,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Until at last I cried out,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
"Can you please make me
strong?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
This time with a thud<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
the ladder came crashing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I realized in that
moment<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
what I'd been lacking.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
For just the way<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I'd
been working that shovel;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
A ladder is meant to
be climbed<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
not there to be grovelled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The One up above<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
had been giving me
chances,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
A way to get out<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
but I only took glances.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I took a deep breath<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and with shovel in hand,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I
grabbed onto that ladder<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and lifted my foot
from sand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The roots of the hole<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
like a strong jagged thorn,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Were the scars of my heart<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
trying to hook
me to mourn.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
They
grabbed onto my clothes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
to be a distraction;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
but I remembered that
shovel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
was meant for protection.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
So using that shovel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
to break through the emotion,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I continued climbing upward<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
causing quite a commotion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I must have looked crazy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
emerging from down below,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Swinging a shovel on a ladder;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
it was quite a show.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
But as I looked around<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
tears filled my eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I saw other holes
around me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and I could hear
the cries.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
You see I wasn't the
only one<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
who <u>used</u> the shovel the wrong way,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Most of
us had gotten lost<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and couldn't see the light of day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
There
were other people still<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
who <u>were</u> emerging from their holes,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
As we <u>interl</u>ocked our
eyes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
we finally
remembered our lost goals.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
With our shovels in our hands<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and our ladders leading the
way,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We continued on our journeys<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
and knew we'd be okay.<o:p></o:p></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
SLIDERBABEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01898285519488809113noreply@blogger.com0